The wise know that there are times when they need the advice of knowledgable and mature Christians. “A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels” (Proverbs 1:5). God says we need advice, not only as individuals, but for the good of the whole society because “where no counsel is, the people fall” (Proverbs 11:14). However, we should not make the mistake in thinking that any advice will do. “The counsels of the wicked are deceit” and “there are many devices in a man’s heart; nevertheless the counsel of the Lord, that shall stand” (Proverbs 12:5; 19:21). Sometimes I do not know what to say, but God always does.
Give principled advice. Sometimes the answer is easy. Should I lie to try and serve some greater good? “A righteous man hateth lying: but a wicked man is loathsome, and cometh to shame” (Proverbs 13:5). Other times we have to pull together principles and use illustrations to make the point like Jesus did. In Luke 10 when Jesus was asked “what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” and “who is my neighbor?” the Lord answered with questions, used the principles of scripture, offered a parable and then said “go, and do thou likewise” (Luke 10:25-37). If we can correctly apply the principles of scripture to life’s everyday situations we can give good advice.
Give cautious advice. We might be too certain in our advice at first. Until we hear both sides of the story we cannot truly help. Faulty assumptions will make a mess of things. Peter found out if Sapphira was on the same page as her husband before she was condemned and punished (Acts 5:8). Witnesses are important, so do not judge too quickly (Matthew 18:16; 2 Corinthians 13:1; 1 Timothy 5:19). Souls are in the balance.
Give loving advice. Paul talked about himself as a gentle mother, an affectionate servant, and a comforting father (1 Thessalonians 2:1-11). The loving thing for Paul to do was to be gentle, but hold nothing back. How do I know if my advice is as loving as it ought to be? It should lead to further faithfulness. Paul’s work helped the brethren “walk worthy of God” and they “received the word of God” and allowed it to work in them (1 Thessalonians 2:12-13).
Ultimately our goal is to help someone be a servant of God. This is our everything (Ecclesiastes 12:13). If your advice falls short of this aim, it is the wrong thing to say.
-Ross Haffner