The apostle Paul lists gentleness and self-control among the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23, presenting them as essential marks of a life surrendered to the will of God. These two qualities are closely connected and understanding them will help us to live in a way that better honors God and builds up others.
The word translated “gentleness” in Galatians 5 comes from a Greek term which conveys humility, meekness, and a mild disposition toward others. It is not weakness, as some might assume, but strength under control. Numbers 12:3 described Moses as “very meek, above all the men which were upon the face of the earth.” He did not assert his authority out of pride but out of a desire to obey the Heavenly Father and lead His people. A gentle person is strong enough to restrain anger, yet humble enough to serve and forgive. Gentleness, then, is a deliberate choice that reflects the Lord’s own character.
Self-control (temperance in the KJV) is the ability to govern one’s impulses. A temperate man demonstrates restraint, having a command of his desires and passions, especially his sensual appetites, in accordance with God’s will. Gentleness could not exist apart from self-control, because responding harshly or impulsively demonstrates a lack of mastery over one’s spirit. A gentle person demonstrates self-control by responding to offense, conflict, or provocation with patience and humility rather than the aggression that may seem more natural. Proverbs 16:32 underscores this connection: “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.” Gentleness and self-control, then, are not separate and distinct virtues, but they could be described as two sides of the same coin—one directs outward behavior, the other manages inner impulses.
Many Christians struggle with self-control in specific areas of life. Guarding one’s speech is frequently a challenge; short temper, gossip, or harsh words can harm any relationship in a hurry. Frustration, jealousy, or pride can easily provoke unkind responses. Another area would be our desire, whether for material possessions or forms of entertainment and recreation. If we are not careful, these can supersede higher priorities and the discernment that must accompany all our decisions. Spiritual disciplines, such as prayer and Bible study, require self-control as well, demanding consistency even amidst distractions or weariness.
Growth in gentleness and self-control begins with reliance on the Lord. Prayer for strength and guidance is essential, as is meditating on Scripture to internalize God’s truth. Daily self-examination will help to identify triggers for anger or indulgence, while accountability with fellow believers encourages consistency. Practically, Christians can practice gentleness by pausing before responding in conflict and always striving to choose words that build rather than tear down. For self-control in matters of desire, setting limits, planning carefully, and prioritizing spiritual disciplines can help align desires with God’s will. Old Testament wisdom literature supports these approaches: Proverbs 25:28 warns that “whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls,” reminding believers that personal mastery is foundational to godly living.
Gentleness and self-control are not optional traits for Christians. They are the fruit of the Spirit that reflect God’s character in our daily lives. Gentleness tempers strength with humility, while self-control governs impulses to honor God and serve others. When men and women of God cultivate these righteous virtues, God will be glorified, and the Christian family will be edified. Let us intentionally model Christ’s love and restraint in a world that too often favors impulsive force.
-John Haffner