Desiring a godly home should begin before you move out on your own or get married. Your home will not be a godly one if you are not a Christian, and you are not ready to create your own home until you are. Though it is not a sin to be repented of, marrying a non-Christian would also move you away from a godly home. You might help to convert your spouse after marrying them (1 Pet. 3:1-2) but that does not mean it is the wisest course of action. Staying out of debt and making frugal lifestyle choices before children come along will give you the financial option to keep mom at home. Many mothers have no choice but to work outside the home and can certainly still be a homemaker in that scenario (Tit. 2:2) but if we are honest we must admit that many families are choosing to outsource their responsibilities in the name of “putting food on the table” when it is actually about lifestyle choices. Entertainment, bigger houses, nicer cars, and the mythical “work-life balance” will not be chosen over better spiritual outcomes in godly homes. Often the challenges we make for ourselves come from merely doing what everyone around us is doing in their homes.
If you begin with the end in mind in all of these areas you will avoid many obstacles, some of which you likely would not be strong enough to overcome. If you find yourself dealing with some of these problems already it will take much diligence to work through them. Consider some of the following applications:
When appropriate, a father might have to become bolder to say, “you’re not wearing that,” “you’re not going there,” “you’re not playing video games right now,” or “you’re not going to that college.” It makes no sense for Christian parents who do not agree with the decisions of their teenage children to continue to fund their sinful behavior. A Christian might have to be intentional to remain faithful to God while married to a non-Christian, and we should have great respect for those who do! It can be more difficult to begin a stand for truth with your children when that was not the standard previously. If you decide mom needs to leave the workplace and become a stay-at-home mom ensuing budgetary decisions can be exhausting and frustrating. Remember the rewards of turning the ship around to go the right direction today are better than giving up, spending a lifetime regretting the decisions of the past that cannot be changed.
You might find you are falling short of the high standard of a godly home. I do not know of a perfect earthly home. With God’s help, through the study of His word and resilient application of the truth, we can make our homes more godly day by day. The most important day in your home is not the day of a wedding, graduation, or birth. It is the day that the family enters into their eternal home together.
-Ross Haffner