How can there be “beauty” in disagreement? Disagreement is unpleasant; it disrupts harmony among brethren, disturbs peace of mind between neighbors, and distresses our spirits. David wrote of “…how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity” (Ps. 133:1) — so how can we find “beauty” in disagreements?
Human revulsion at the prospect of conflict springs from our familiarity with the rejection, anger, hurt, disappointment, acrimony, and resentment that flourish when seeds of disagreement are allowed to germinate. Some people court, and even seem to thrive on disagreement; for many, the distaste it produces can be so strong they are willing to forfeit fundamental convictions just to avoid its bitter flavor. Even an “agreement to disagree” does not actually resolve any issue, however.
Our Lord experienced all the emotions and conflicts common to our lives (Heb. 4:15; 1 Pet.1:22), and this includes the acidic flavor of confrontation with those who contradicted and falsely accused Him. Despite the rancor they directed at Him, Jesus managed to cope with such situations and avoid sinning in doing so. What can we learn of our Lord’s “beauty” in the face of conflict and disagreement?
We can learn an effective strategy for answering those who try to use God’s word to justify their own ends. In Matthew 4:1-11, Jesus answered the devil’s challenges by appealing to the instructions of God’s word, acknowledging that His choices and subsequent actions should always be determined by the Father’s will, not merely by His own momentary “need” or desire. Similarly, when challenged by the Pharisees to declare which “position” He held concerning divorce and remarriage (Matt. 19:1-9), the Lord seized the opportunity to redirect their attention to the Father’s original pattern for marriage. Much as He would later point out the a lawyer (Luke 10:26), the proper question is not “whose side is right” but “what does God say about this?”
We learn that sometimes criticism is not rooted in a legitimate “fault” in the one criticized, but in a critic’s self-righteousness, (Mark 2:15-17; Matt. 15:1-9). At Matthew’s home, Jesus deflected the objection of the scribes and Pharisees with a contrasting statement of compassion toward those in need. When they later challenged Him for a perceived flaw in His disciples’ behavior, the Teacher pointed out their own hypocrisy in a far “weightier” matter. Jesus was not shy about “answering back” strongly when others were wrongfully maligned, but He did not become defensive when the ire of His critics was directed at Him.
At the home of Jairus we learn to cope with the uncomfortable experience of ridicule (Mark 12:38-43). When mocked and scorned by those who “knew better” than He, the Master simply let His actions “speak” to silence their derision! Sometimes the example we provide can speak far more eloquently than any words we could utter (cf. Matt. 27:12-14).
We learn from Matthew 12:1-8 that a mere accusation of wrong-doing does not constitute proof of sin. The Pharisees’ charge (“working” on the Sabbath) was not correct (the law actually permitted what the disciples were doing, Deut. 23:25), and Jesus highlighted their inconsistency by pointing out that they willingly overlooked real sin if it suited their agenda. “The legs of the lame are not equal” (Pro. 26:7).
The three challenges in Matthew 22:15-46 provide several valuable lessons about handling disagreements. Jesus used the question about tribute to Caesar to demonstrate that one responsibility does not “cancel out” another. He did not acquiesce to the implication that paying Roman taxes necessarily made one guilty of sin: Rather, He used the opportunity to point out that they should have been at least as concerned about whether they had honored God with their offerings as they were about whether paying tribute to Rome was evil. His response to the convoluted “story” presented by the Sadducees (vv. 23-33) highlights His use of logic in dealing with disagreement, by linking their ignorance of God’s word with their ignorance of (and thus, disbelief in) His eternal power. Had they paid attention to the words of Moses and the prophets, they could have answered their own question! In His response to the Pharisee lawyer’s question about which commandment is “greatest” (i.e., the most important), Jesus shows the folly of his attempt to “rank” God’s commands as greater, or less, in importance.
Beauty CAN be found in disagreement, but the “beauty” of disagreement lies in revealing of heavenly truth and the exposure and correction of ignorance, error, prejudice, and malice.